Syriana: A Review
Description:
Based on the book "See No Evil:The True Story of a Ground Soldier in the CIA's War on Terrorism" written by Robert Baer; Syriana takes artistic liberties above and beyond the call of duty as director and screen writer Stephen Gaghan brings the glorious cause of the oppressed proletariat to the big screen and to the ever absorbent eyes of our nation
My take:
Syriana is a political thriller with all the usual plot twist of a $6.99 novel you might find on a shelf at your local convenience store. Complete with big name actors, far off lands and video ops for the Mitsubishi Endeavor, Syriana brings action and intrigue to the big screen with a multi-million dollar budget targeting the progressive thinking man.
Actors:
Starring: George Clooney as the disillusioned CIA agent. Matt Damon as the mostly innocent, upper-middle class white guy; and Jeffrey Wright as the "workin' fo' the man" boy-scout lawyer. The rest of the cast is going to sit this one out, except Amanda Peet known mostly for her sub-par performance in The Whole Nine/Ten Yards and Saving Silverman and her follow-up as the progressive minded "hippie-chick"/mom of this movie. Upside, very few lines, down side, a topless shot would have saved her career.
The Setting, a 4 way plot:
Syriana sets up with a four way split between George Clooney on a secret mission in Beirut, Matt Damon climbing the ol' corperate ladder for a major advisory firm, Jeffrey Wright as a lawyer investigating big oil and a mixed cast of actors playing the jobless Arabs seeking a better life and support for their families.
The conspiracy:
Well, this is easy, the CIA plays the old "weapons for cash" game, Matt Damon slides into a Saudi princess pocket after the death of his son, the lawyer discovers a "vast gov't conspiracy" with all the usual oil connections, and a gang disillusioned Arab youths joining the terrorist organization to support their families.
The Betrayal:
Oh, yeah, didn't see this coming. The CIA betrays their man after a botched mission, Matt Damon schemes with the Prince to take control from his brother, the lawyer is asked to overlook the gov't conspiracy for money and the Arab youths are taken to a paradise like farm, complete with simple manual labour and taught the Koran with smiles and laughter.
The Predictability:
Come on George, do something! That's right, he threatens The Man and returns to Beirut to undermine the inevitable. I really like George Clooney as an actor, and really, his acting was pretty decent in this movie, but for the love of all that is good, don't ever open your mouth off of a movie set again! It must be the coke.
Matt Damon, was somewhat unpredictable as his character continues on a straight path complete with two wild outbursts of intelligent thought. The rest was dramatic poses and mug shots.
The Lawyer, as though straight out of Sparta...Georgia, that is, plays The Man and sells him out to the bigger, fatter cat.
Finally, Arabs, plus explosives originally sold by the CIA, plus some dramatic filming, equals a liquid version of those same Arabs all over the inside of a sinking oil tanker. Red Revolution!!!! Hahahah! Fools. Your death god sips your blood from the skulls of those who came before you.
The Wild Bias: CIA=bad. Okay, that seems reasonable. Matt Damon plus a laser guided 500lb bomb, pretty good, but he lives. Oh well, I guess it sells the idea of progressive conversion. George, sorry, you realize the situation too late and join a Saudi Prince a a red stain on the asphalt. The Lawyer sticks it to the man and decides to go home and take care of his alcoholic father, as Bill Cosby probably would have said "what about the previous decades you let him slip into that hole?"
And the meat and, well, more meat of the story, the glorious sacrifice of the young Arabs, complete with a slow-motion, wind billowing their shirts, final ride scene, go from a heavenly farm of simple pleasures and toil to grand martyrdom against a non-inocent bystander target. Yeah, anybody who has ever seen a suicide bomber blast himself into ground meat can tell you that there is no last ride, flash of heavenly light and dramatic music; in its place is usually the dismayed cries of women and children as their limbs are torn from them or the yells of the man you were just talking to thirty minutes earlier as he screams for his mother and how he can't feel his legs.
Now I'm just pissed.
Sources:
Thanks to Rotten Tomatoes for all the names I forget and a horrible description of the movie. Your reviews were horrible and the reviewing sources made my beer go flat just being that close to the screen. You suck.
http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/syriana/
And of course, the movie itself.
Syriana, written and directed by Stephen "The Man who effed up The Alamo" Gaghan. You sir, may go to hell.
Torque the Ferret's review:......rawr, eek, eek! (translation: I found it depressing as the potential for the struggle of man both against himself and the swirling forces around him were ignored and replaced by pseudo-intillectual political spin and character cannonization.) Bad ferret! No!
Based on the book "See No Evil:The True Story of a Ground Soldier in the CIA's War on Terrorism" written by Robert Baer; Syriana takes artistic liberties above and beyond the call of duty as director and screen writer Stephen Gaghan brings the glorious cause of the oppressed proletariat to the big screen and to the ever absorbent eyes of our nation
My take:
Syriana is a political thriller with all the usual plot twist of a $6.99 novel you might find on a shelf at your local convenience store. Complete with big name actors, far off lands and video ops for the Mitsubishi Endeavor, Syriana brings action and intrigue to the big screen with a multi-million dollar budget targeting the progressive thinking man.
Actors:
Starring: George Clooney as the disillusioned CIA agent. Matt Damon as the mostly innocent, upper-middle class white guy; and Jeffrey Wright as the "workin' fo' the man" boy-scout lawyer. The rest of the cast is going to sit this one out, except Amanda Peet known mostly for her sub-par performance in The Whole Nine/Ten Yards and Saving Silverman and her follow-up as the progressive minded "hippie-chick"/mom of this movie. Upside, very few lines, down side, a topless shot would have saved her career.
The Setting, a 4 way plot:
Syriana sets up with a four way split between George Clooney on a secret mission in Beirut, Matt Damon climbing the ol' corperate ladder for a major advisory firm, Jeffrey Wright as a lawyer investigating big oil and a mixed cast of actors playing the jobless Arabs seeking a better life and support for their families.
The conspiracy:
Well, this is easy, the CIA plays the old "weapons for cash" game, Matt Damon slides into a Saudi princess pocket after the death of his son, the lawyer discovers a "vast gov't conspiracy" with all the usual oil connections, and a gang disillusioned Arab youths joining the terrorist organization to support their families.
The Betrayal:
Oh, yeah, didn't see this coming. The CIA betrays their man after a botched mission, Matt Damon schemes with the Prince to take control from his brother, the lawyer is asked to overlook the gov't conspiracy for money and the Arab youths are taken to a paradise like farm, complete with simple manual labour and taught the Koran with smiles and laughter.
The Predictability:
Come on George, do something! That's right, he threatens The Man and returns to Beirut to undermine the inevitable. I really like George Clooney as an actor, and really, his acting was pretty decent in this movie, but for the love of all that is good, don't ever open your mouth off of a movie set again! It must be the coke.
Matt Damon, was somewhat unpredictable as his character continues on a straight path complete with two wild outbursts of intelligent thought. The rest was dramatic poses and mug shots.
The Lawyer, as though straight out of Sparta...Georgia, that is, plays The Man and sells him out to the bigger, fatter cat.
Finally, Arabs, plus explosives originally sold by the CIA, plus some dramatic filming, equals a liquid version of those same Arabs all over the inside of a sinking oil tanker. Red Revolution!!!! Hahahah! Fools. Your death god sips your blood from the skulls of those who came before you.
The Wild Bias: CIA=bad. Okay, that seems reasonable. Matt Damon plus a laser guided 500lb bomb, pretty good, but he lives. Oh well, I guess it sells the idea of progressive conversion. George, sorry, you realize the situation too late and join a Saudi Prince a a red stain on the asphalt. The Lawyer sticks it to the man and decides to go home and take care of his alcoholic father, as Bill Cosby probably would have said "what about the previous decades you let him slip into that hole?"
And the meat and, well, more meat of the story, the glorious sacrifice of the young Arabs, complete with a slow-motion, wind billowing their shirts, final ride scene, go from a heavenly farm of simple pleasures and toil to grand martyrdom against a non-inocent bystander target. Yeah, anybody who has ever seen a suicide bomber blast himself into ground meat can tell you that there is no last ride, flash of heavenly light and dramatic music; in its place is usually the dismayed cries of women and children as their limbs are torn from them or the yells of the man you were just talking to thirty minutes earlier as he screams for his mother and how he can't feel his legs.
Now I'm just pissed.
Sources:
Thanks to Rotten Tomatoes for all the names I forget and a horrible description of the movie. Your reviews were horrible and the reviewing sources made my beer go flat just being that close to the screen. You suck.
http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/syriana/
And of course, the movie itself.
Syriana, written and directed by Stephen "The Man who effed up The Alamo" Gaghan. You sir, may go to hell.
Torque the Ferret's review:......rawr, eek, eek! (translation: I found it depressing as the potential for the struggle of man both against himself and the swirling forces around him were ignored and replaced by pseudo-intillectual political spin and character cannonization.) Bad ferret! No!
posted by Petey at 9:46 PM
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